Aftermath

If you are a survivor after someone's death from suicide, you are feeling a difficult and confusing array of emotions. In addition to the grief you feel from the loss of a loved one, it’s not unusual for you to feel angry at him or her, to blame yourself or others, or to simply wonder, “why?”

You are not alone in those feelings, and you will get through them. And you’re not alone: there are many people who are ready and willing to help you. If you live in the Great Lakes Bay Region you can reach them through the Suicide Resource & Response Network.

Another valuable resource is My Son, My Son: A Guide to Healing After Death, Loss or Suicide by Iris Bolton, who lost her 20-year-old son to suicide.

As she writes:

I don't know why
I'll never know why.
I don't have to know why.
I don't like it.
I don't have to like it.
What I do have to do is make a choice about my living.
What I do want to do is accept it and go on living
The choice is mine.
I can go on living, valuing every moment 
in a way I never did before, 
or I can be destroyed by it and, 
in turn, destroy others.
I thought I was immortal.
That my family and my children were also
That tragedy happened only to others.
But I know now that life is tenuous 
and valuable.
So I am choosing to go on living,
making the most of the time I have,
valuing my family and friends
in a way never possible before.